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[Nov. 2nd, 2006|02:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  discontent | ] |
so yeah i still kinda hurts to see her or pictures of her its gay i miss everything i used to have and the way things used to be...i wonder if i'll ever be that happy again? if i'll ever have someone i love as much as i love(d) her? i hate this its been soo fucking long and it still comes back to me and kills me everytime i thing about her or anything.....:( |
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| ahh |
[Oct. 31st, 2006|04:18 pm] |
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what the fuck i cant go on myspace at work anymore even on the self serve computers they blocked it goddamnit |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 2nd, 2006|01:34 am] |
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i bought a brand new car today....im fucked beyond belife |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 14th, 2006|11:10 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | with faith or flames | ] |
the last two nights we're probably the most amazing nights of my life i have never played better shows and most likely wont play any better shows. with faith or flames one of the best most original bands i've ever seen in my lifei love those guys i got to drink with them last night and just talk about shit it was sooo amazing and then with blood comes cleansing has made me re think my faith and has set me on a better path than i've been taking i love both bands with all my heart and this is from only knowing them for about 48 hours |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 5th, 2006|12:09 pm] |
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im starting to hate life at this point....i just want to get drunk and play shows |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 22nd, 2006|12:16 pm] |
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i think im actually fully depressed..i feel like im done with life..i feel like im just over living its lame but its how i feel...i feel so absolutely alone...i honestly feel like i have absolutely nobody at this point..i miss life the way it was last around this time...i had money...i had friends now i kinda have nothing |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 21st, 2006|01:05 am] |
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i over react. it pushes people away. im pretty stupid sometimes i hate it....i just dont know what to do anymore....i really just want someone to hold |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 19th, 2006|01:11 am] |
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YEH still fuck bitches more than anything.....godamn whores yeah its gay but oh well i fell like a fucking faggott who has feelings...love is a faggott emotion |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 16th, 2006|05:35 pm] |
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i hella hate cunts/bitches/girls/whores...what ever your want to call them...oh yeah there was a bomb threat today at work it was tight....too bad i didnt explode |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 14th, 2006|02:07 pm] |
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im sure everyone dose but i hate liars and FAKE ASS "FRIENDS" fuckig faggot must die |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 8th, 2006|10:22 pm] |
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not sure what to write....tomorrow i have off to take harmony to the airport in oakland. then off to storage to get some stuff i need for my room. then off to the market i miss the market its been tooooo long i hope tomorrow is a good day...things with emma may get better again im hoping and i hope they stay better. i miss being her friend talking///laughing...haning out all the fun stuff its been too long i hate how things have been between us sooooo much bad tension i dont like it its most of what has brought me down lately....and also i feel like i have no real friends anymore really like everyoone kinda jjst gave up on me or something i dont know but i hope things sttart going better for me........my band needs much work......we need to start practiceing again and comeup with a sound we all want...jake wants melodic metalcore shit, josh wants arsonists get all the girls shit....erik doent care.....chris wants what josh wants and wellllllllllll what i want is more melodic death grind shit with less break downs and more DOOOM but we'll see we're gonna start writing new songs soon i hhope thos fucking niggers need to get their shit together and we need a fucking studio more than anything but yes we play with amature death photos i love them soooo much right now almost more than anything....i need more love in my life i dont think i have much at all right now....im going to canada in october i've always wanted to go and now i have a reason it will be fun i cant wait |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 6th, 2006|02:22 pm] |
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i've tried to rebuild friendships....doesnt seem to work. they lie. they say they want to be friends but they dont try. so why should i try anymore if they dont try? i dont understand things...being semi homeless sucks but oh well i will do what i have to. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 24th, 2006|12:54 am] |
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yeah its my birthday......worst one yet.... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 16th, 2006|02:28 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | chipper | ] |
im actually in quite the good mood tonight |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 15th, 2006|01:37 pm] |
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i miss what i had about 3 or 4 months ago life was great....now i kinda have nothing. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 12th, 2006|10:06 pm] |
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life can be quite difficult. i thought i was falling apart. i thought i had lost everything and everyone. well im working on it. i will not do drugs again. i will cut back on my drinkingl. i found a place to live. i still have two jobs. its tough im tired all the time. i still feel like i have noone but i have met one of the coolest people i've ever met. her boyfriend is one lucky dude she is a great friend. i might be going to canada for about 5 days in agugust i hope so it would be tight. my boss at kinkos talked to me about promotion oppertunitys today hopefully something can happen soon so i dont have to work two jobs anymore. i would have time for sleep which i need alot i dont sleep much anymore. im too quick to go hang out with a certian friend which i dont know if i really should its not like im drinking or doin drugs with her but i have a feeling i may get hurt again so its pretty tough but yeah my life is kinda coming back together well yeah i found a place to live no more drugs and less drinking so i dont know maybe i should make more friends? i want more friends away from here im so tired of the same old people everyday. i mean i know so many damn people in this town every day i see someone i know its kinda getting old. samething everyday same people every day...i guess i've kinda done it to my self. i just dont know what to do i kinda want to move but theres those verry few people here that are holding me back that i could never let go of . well yeah not many sorry but im sure i could give just about everysingle one of you up if i had to there really is only a few peopl worth staying for. but hey what ever you proplbably never really cared about me anyways so yea peace dudes |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 4th, 2006|02:24 pm] |
i love how everything falls appart at once. losing friends. doin drugs. drinking again. soon no where to live. isnt life just grand?
ps i still feel like i have noone...
yeah i know im gay but oh well |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 2nd, 2006|05:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blank | ] |
im falling apart i dont know what im doing anymore.......drugs are bad :( |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 17th, 2006|09:40 am] |
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i thought everything was ok, again i was wrong, everything just got fucked again. its gay |
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